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Celebrity Test Match
2 of the most lethal names in cheese surfing take centre stage today with what is to be one of the greatest sporting occasions of all time: Celebrity Test Match in which 2 competitors slog it out using a telegraph pole as a bat and a Terry's Chocolate Orange as a ball. First up we have Gary Barlow:
Gary Barlow winning the grand national
Gary Barlow:
Aided by his mother Stuart Barlow (Nicknamed jigsaw
because she falls apart in the box) and his son Deirdre Barlow
(Nicknamed biscuit because she looks like a carrot), Gary Barlow
is a force to be reckoned with. He is well known for his skill at
throwing satsumas into the crowd, most notably when being watched
by Terry Wogan from the commentary box.
Vital Statistics:
Favourite breed of sheep: Frank Spencer (Because he
speaks fluent Hebrew)
Worst nightmare: Being shown a picture of John the baptist then
being told to "Dish the dirt on Elton John's breastfeeding
regime"
Quote: "imagine if you were playing cards and Bryan May ran
away and joined the circus"
Favourite kitchen utensil: Dessert spoon
Favourite Band: Ivory Mullet
Tony Gubba in disguise as
a fishermans friend
Tony Gubba
Our next competitor is of a very different background he trained
at the Norwich school of motoring where he learnt how to drive a
Rhino down a 1 way street. Then he took of on a voyage to the
moon, although it failed when he learnt that Peter Taylor is
looking at buying a house in an orchard in county durham. Tony
Gubba was the 3rd person to open a cheese restaurant in Nepal.
Vital Statistics:
Favourite breed of sheep: The one that comes free with a
packet of sugar puffs.
Worst nightmare: Being awarded a "Token baboon" in a
pet shop in the south pacific
Quote: "Pope John Paul II is more like an angry beaver"
Favourite kitchen utensil: Cement Mixer
Favourite Band: Morbid Cheesecake